Written on December 23rd, 2006 for our daughter Mara Joy.  Should God allow,
we will give it to her when she is old enough to understand it.

Dear Mara Joy,

You have not yet taken your first breath of air, but I already love you. I do not know how long God will give you to your mother and I nor how long He will give us to you, but I plan to enjoy every moment. Having a part in bringing a new person into this world is a scary thing. I do not know what life has in store, but I know that you are a beautiful masterpiece created to display His glory in a way that only you can. With this in mind we began searching for a name for you. We chose carefully because we wanted your name to give you something to take with you your entire life. We pray that your name will point you and us towards life-giving truth. Unfortunately these are not truths that your parents have mastered, but we look forward to sharing our desire to live them with you. I am writing by faith that God has chosen you to be one of his Sheep and that He will transform your heart of stone. By this faith we chose a name that means “Bitter Joy.”

We live in a world that is cursed by sin and in bodies that are depraved, yet we continually look to the things and people of this life to make us happy. We pad our bank accounts and purchase insurance and pursue relationships that look fulfilling. We buy things, fight for our rights, and end relationships that are uncomfortable or difficult. The media, your friends, and at times your family will all tell you that these pursuits are wise and safe and the bestor fulfilling. You will find that your own heart sees these tangible affections and securities as sure things. But I want you to know that it will all disappoint you. Everything that you treasure in this life will fail. Even your closest family and your most trusted friends will not live up to your expectations.

Mara, I do not want you to be cynical. I do not want you to look at every happy moment in this life with an eye to hurt that is still to come, but I do want you to hold these earthly things loosely knowing that any pleasure they bring will not last. Please don't look to entertainment or relationships or anything else to bring you joy. They can't. They weren't made for that.

With all my heart, I wish that I could keep you from the pain that comes with life, but I cannot. And if I could, I would do you more harm than good. God sends us bitter things to remind us to treasure Him and Him alone. So the bitterness you are named after is not a bad thing. It is a gift from God that we desperately need. When your most precious possession is lost or when someone you love dies, remember that in Christ you are rich beyond your wildest imagination.

We named you “Mara” because this truth is so important that we never want you to forget it. I know that if you can live this way you will live the Cross for everyone around you to see.

But this life is not just about enduring bitterness. There is much, much more.

Perhaps one day you will marry and change your last name, but you will always have your middle name. And if you are in Christ, your life will be filled with joy. In this world godly joy does not often live on the surface. Certainly, there will be times when you will enjoy the company of a friend or the love of your husband or the beauty of a sunrise, and I hope you will treasure these moments praising the God who gives them. But during pain and sorrow and uncertainty or just the mundane plodding of life, joy never leaves for the Christian. Each day is a gift from God no matter what it brings, and we want you to always see His gracious hand. In Christ, your joy will lie just underneath your circumstances, just beneath the surface, only as far away as your middle name. As surely as you cannot escape the bitterness of life, you will never escape the joy of our Savior.

One reason we didn't make “Joy” your first name is because joy never comes first. You will never find real joy in this life without pain and sorrow. But the reverse is also true. A Christian will never have any bitterness that does not result in joy. We are quick to see this in the small things, but our frail condition makes it hard to see in the big things. The greater the pain is, the greater the joy will be. Christ is our example. First came a humble birth, a mundane life, flaky friends, and an unjust, sickening death. Yet for all of eternity our Lord will be the most glorious and the most joyful being in the universe. When a friendship dies, we look to friendships that will last for eternity. When family dies we look to a family of millions that will live with us forever.

Don't look for shortcuts. There are none. Every advertisement will promise one. Friends will claim to have found one, but please don't believe them. Look instead for a God who is wise enough to work everything out, loving enough to not overwhelm us, faithful enough not to let one promise fail, and who will always, always go with us. No bitterness can overwhelm the joy of that truth.

Through our darkest time our hearts will betray us. We will listen to the hopeless patter of our wicked hearts and the lies of our Father's great enemies. But no circumstance can confine the joy of a Christian. I pray that in these times you will be like Christian, Bunyan's character in Pilgrims Progress. He was imprisoned and beaten in Doubting Castle and saw no way out. He gave up being able to follow God's path and even considered suicide. But he spent one more night seeking God in prayer.

Now, a little before it was day, good Christian, as one half amazed, brake out into this passionate speech: What a fool, quoth he, am I, thus to lie in a stinking dungeon, when I may as well walk at liberty! I have a key in my bosom, called Promise, that will, I am persuaded, open any lock in Doubting Castle.

Mara, in Christ we long for the day that we will embrace in heaven and bitterness will be gone forever. Then we will have to find you a new first name.

In Christ,

Mom and Dad